if u squueze lemons, u'll get sugar?

well life hasnt come to a full circle just yet for me.
lemons and sugars are these basic ingredients for how i fair now.
3 more months to squeeze all the lemons out and maybe,just maybe...i'll get sweet lemonade instead!


juicy no more! lets crystallize!

she's no naive dame

• she's just a lil' miss introvert. all she wanted is to call the 'rentokil' and destroy those pests and haughty 'heiress'
  

• she's not here to make any 'friends' nor foe. all she cared for is herself. yes,she's lil' miss selfish too! anyone's got problem with that? why wont people stop bugging her?
  

• she doesnt need any more faux remarks by anyone. just give her space and she'll shut up.mhm call her lil' miss anti-social now eh?, thats rite.

• she's not ur doormat anymore!or anyone else's for that matter! she's not ur stepping stone too. so get ur own grave and dig it urself! she'll wait for ur orbituary to come. call her lil' miss morbid for all she cares.
  

• she's not decaying..but she seems more brittle than before?why is that so?

• she's not here to stay. she's here to learn n succeed. she'll keep on running till her foot hurts n bleeds. she'll just 'shoo' them off whoever is in her way. yes! lets all call her lil' miss ignorant now. she wont mind. all she wanted is to be in melbourne.
  

• she can not let her petty mixture of emotions control her. not this time. she wont let it happen. she's no saint. she has no shiny halo too. she just needs people to mind their own business.

• she wanted no fame. she wanted no posts nor those short-term recognition. all she wanted is her privacy. how she'd dream to have her own privacy and just a tiny weeny space. yup that's all.that's ALL that will make her happy :)

a smack on the ARSE

Life is short they claimed.but why did i waste half of it?
three months went by leaving me bits of ashes to grieve upon.
why is '24' a day still not enough?
or should i request for more?

six months will come with a breeze of sheer insanity.
why haven't i woke up from my reverie?
how do i know if i am doing it right?
how can i tell? are there any hints that i can ponder upon?

Australia seems near. alas! why did i steer up north?
maybe i broke my compass. or did the hourglass deceived me?
ponder now as i may. breathe in while i can. but why..

i have made my decision now.
i chose this path and i must stick to it.
no matter how heavy the rain falls nor how windy this road is, i musn't give up.
because yes! life is short.this chance, u cant buy them.
i HAVE to pull up my brawn, all of my might and will power.
may the force be with me.

60

earth hour here we come..contented,consumed with the theme song "HIJAU", i was humming it all night long having it on "playback" mode..
i feel sated. too consumed by the song lyrics..
as i reached the chorus,my heart starts to feeble..
a softer side of my aorta starts to fiddle n jiggle..its abnormal i thought at first
after awhile i then realized that "hijau" is one of the 'national service' songs!!

how i missed waking up early before dawn..marching all day long under the hot sun..
i used to hate NS..i used to cry almost everyday wishing that someone with a heart could save me from the torturous trainer at the camp..there's nothing wrong with the camp,nor the food to be blamed, i guess its just ME. i just couldn't bear having to play under the sun. it ain't near my definition of FUN at all, like those commercials that they have on national television, its overrated!

how i missed people calling me "wirawati".."wirawati! jgn main mata dengan wira!".
"wirawati! PT 10".

i wasn't good enuff to be called a true wirawati. why? becoz there was this one time, i got punished for having this HUUUUUUUUge steel lugage that i kept inside the dorm. everyone brought their tiny puny lugage that can be put under the bed with ease. unlike mine, it seems IMPOSSIBLE to put it under the bed. people teased and called me names for having such a gigantic carrier. one night, a trainer confiscate my lugage becoz it doesnt meet the 'standard' size of lugage to be brought to NS! and so i was called-up infront of those sea of people in my NS camp. my enormous carrier was put up for 'auction' on stage. my face went flaming red! the trainer, they emptied all of my precious belongings and be it a jumble sale for everyone to enjoy.
they saw EVERYTHING! from my teddy bear to my under garments! that night was one of the unforgettable ones..i wept and broke into tears..why should i be embarassed in front of those wira and wrawati just for the size of my lugage?its kinda absurd actually..

alas,days went by and some of the trainee, had short-term memory loss.. my huge lugage wasn't being discriminated at the end of the NS days..NS doesnt seem that bad after a month and i got used to the trainings and strict regimes..

...now i kinda wish if i could 'rewind' and go trough NS all over again. so that this time, i could bring a smaller bag and cherish every moment and capture it to be xeroxed for the future.


reminiscing..:)

cheers~

mr A-Z

jason mraz?he's cute,sensational and huggable~
thats all i can conclude..it was fun watching him perform live the other night for 2 hours..(tho it feels like 20mins). theres a few 'unanticipated' incidents happened, yet still overall i had fun with my sis and her friend..the best part was, i could just go screaaaaaaaammm and nobody would care because trust me, my ears almost shut off. they were screaming as if jason mraz would notice who'd scream the loudest and would award them in any ways..at first i stay put and kept quiet..but then something inside me came rushing looking for the exit thru my trachea. and so..i joined the lot and scremed 'Aaahhhhhh'. i managed to put off a few tensed nerves that were building up tru the whole last week thanks to the never ending homeworks,test and assignments..when its over, my brain starts functioning again and brought me to reality.. a reality which i hardly could bear it..the maths test!

striking red sis and her trusty mate ;P

her friends..we were practically sitting by the roadside..(something huge had happend that night but im so lazzzzzyyyyyyyy to type)

cheerio~

mom..take me home :(

27Feb2009

ok i was supposed to have written this on that particular date,but no thanks to this super duper SLooow internet connection,its march edi and im poofed! but what the heck! who cares?haha
on the night of 27feb, we had a cook-out together(residents of house 67)..it was fun because we spare some time to cook and have dinner outside at the balcony of our house..it was no fancy night..just the roof top and us..this tikar was placed on the floor and it was kinda like a picnic,but only this time,we are all in our pajamas..unfortunately tho, someone forgot about the 'veggie soup' and the house all went dark..the soup,,,its ALIVE! we went berserk but managed to control ourselves..so here's a picture of our 'sumptuos' meal..
it aint prepared to perfection,but we dont care as long as we got each other..the colourful cups there were from athira(got it from IKEA)..haha..she gave us all each..mine's the orange one..:P
to tell ya the truth, we were laughing and chit-chatting wildly tru the night..i was 'competing' with hani who could burp the loudest..it was hillarious! and in the end we were glued down and had quite a rough time trying to get up since we were so full..haha..full stop!

ok now,im in a dilemma..time is ticking and i am nowhere near ready to sit for maths test on thursday..why?because my sis got me this jason mraz consert ticket on wednesday night!! i know its awesome and i should be jumping madly singing "i'm yours" all the way tru the week..but i dont fancy conserts and stuffs..i am a certified nerd who likes to sit on my table and stay in my territory...my sisters so eager to go and i aint moved at all by this whole idea of going to watch him perform live JUST because the next day, i would be facing 'APPLICABLE MATHS" test..is it me,or am i a bore to be with??

here is 'him' stuck to my wall..(ignore those papers sticking to the board)..i have to make my decision now whether to stay home or join my sis..after all, i have the ticket with me..and i could just give it away to some needy homeless chap..but then again,who would wana go??


now i am having this emotional turmoil boiling up inside of me..half of me are screaming pleading to go back home!!!! i miss home..

worse case scenario

"ALWAYS REMEMBER to bring your umbrella!! you might not know when its going to rain.."

thats the lesson which i am trying to digest..it was sunny as we set off walking back from college..but the rain starts dripping gradually..and soon, we were soaked and beaten by the strong wind+heavy rain..its not that i didnt bring my pink umbrella..its that there are 3 of us, 2 umbrellas(blue n pink), and the nasty rain...the aftermath of the incident?

• sherry got a headache
• my pink spongebob socks were soaked wet totally!
• atiqah's umbrella 'performed' a few acrobatic shows
• my eyes went red due to the fact that i ran back home umbrela-less
• sherry's accounting book looks more like a mashed sandwich
• i took a 10-minute hot shower

sherry and her headache :)

even my so called 'goggles' could not protect my eyes

spongy is wet :(

brrrrr...sssseejukk